butthurtbandboys:

[throws a rock at your window] what’s your wifi password

thorki:

what if your friend invited you to spend the night and theyre like “we’re gonna have to share a bed” and its like ok cool whatever and then you go into their room and it looks like this

amerryleetlechristmas:

well son, a blog is formed when your loneliness and your narcissism fall in love with each other

dailydoseofsamantics:

There is this guy on the bus who calls himself Jeff. Jeff narrates the entire bus ride in third person. Today was the only day I have been on the bus with Jeff where someone has told him to shut up. Jeff sighed and then said “Jeff dramatically looks out of the window while sighing. Jeff just couldn’t understand why people had to be so rude.” The person who told him to shut up now looks like he is going to cry out of frustration.

lady-starship:

twinpersonalitys:

hibiki-ganaha:

andrewblushie:

thatpunnyguy:

andrewblushie:

WHat if food didnt exist and we got nourishment from sex„„

Then tumblr would be starving worse then the Irish during the potato famine

stOP MAKING MY POSTS FUNNIER THEN THEY WERE INTENDED TO BE

would masturbation be cannibalism

asking the big questions

misspumpkiin:

a girl asked me how i got good at drawing so i answered that i sacrificed virgins for the dark lord satan and she looked kinda terrified

i forgot u can’t really make this kind of joke outside of the internet

awesomeesaucee:

When you get fed up of waiting for a page to load so you close it and in the split second that you do you can see the page has fully loaded but it’s too late