iwouldeat500jams:

“Dear Diary,

Today Merlin’s scarf was blue, again..

and his cheekbones were popping out seductively as usual.

I was going to tell him how much I liked him, and maybe give him one of my dead mother’s heirlooms as a token of my love… 

but then the dreamy fool told me I was getting fat and hurt my feelings.

It’s not my fault he keeps shrinking my clothes every time he washes them!

Arthur (A&M 5 evahh)”